remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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