She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
