my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
The air taste purple.
Randomize
