I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Randomize
