Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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