Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
