i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
Randomize
