butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
Randomize
