i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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