yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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