I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
