Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
