Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
