Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
