So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
she looked like the before picture.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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