If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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