don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
