Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
