If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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