Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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