Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
