that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i think my mom watched the whole time
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Randomize
