the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
