Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Randomize
