Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Randomize
