Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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