I CAN MOONWALK!
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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