I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
