Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
