Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
