Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
