I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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