So drunk its hurt
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
