there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
