New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
