well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
