I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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