Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
