I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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