I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize
