hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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