i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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