I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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