glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
