that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
