your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
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