i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
