Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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