I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
How does it feel to date your dad?
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
