it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
