I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
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