Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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